Sorry for the lack of stitching posts and the lack of pictures. I'm still coming to terms with my recent "life change" and it's been a bit rocky. Yesterday, I got out for a bit and that seemed to cheer me up. I bought some quilting fabric to back some ornaments and I had breakfast and lunch with a couple of friends. It was a good day over all.
On Monday, I wanted to throw in the towel. I spent over an hour reading on how to sign up for unemployment, only to find out at the very end when I submitted my claim that I was placed in the wrong category. 45 minutes later and listening to eleventy dozen recordings, I finally got a real live person who proceeded to tell me that my name was not removed from a particular database from years ago when the company I worked for put us all on Shared Work. Because I was in their system, I was automatically placed there. I was given another phone number to call and another 45 minutes later, listening to another gazzillion recordings, I got a real live person who corrected the error but told me that it would take 24 hours to take effect because the system had to re-gen. Ok. THAT started my first morning, when I was in a panic because I don't have a job and I am so stressed out, crying every few minutes.
Adding insult to injury, all the plumbing under my sink came loose and I didn't know it. When I started to wash dishes, I felt water splashing on my feet. I thought, the dog is pee-ing on me! No wait, she's not even in the kitchen, she's watching Livy. (Daisy guards our cat, Livy, like she's her prized possession). Apparently, when our contractor hired out to complete the plumbing, he hired someone who didn't know what he was doing. In the process of putting the plumbing together, this person stripped all the pipe connections and just used plumbing tape to hold the joints together. 5 years later, tape failure! When I opened up the cupboard doors, I found an inch & 1/2 of dirty, stinky water in the bottom of the cabinet. Everything was wet. You could have sailed a boat under there. I just sat down on the floor and sobbed.
6 hours and $500 dollars later, my plumbing was put back together and 3 shutoff valves in the basement were replaced. The plumber did some preventative maintenance, we knew one of the valves was leaking but he replaced 2 more because they were in bad shape. He also told us our water heater (that's 25 years old) is dying. CHA-CHING!!!
I am finding that I run a whole range of emotions and they change constantly without warning. The weekend was just tears. Monday was raw emotion. Yesterday, I was pretty happy. Today, I have feelings of doubt that I will find a job. I face the task of writing a resume and searching for something that "fits". I have a lot of support but I have to keep myself positive. Sometimes that's hard for me. I miss the routine of work. Even though my job was stressful and I worried constantly about retaining it, I find myself rattling around here, going from one thing to the next. I can't concentrate for long periods of time and looking at the process of finding work seems like a tall mountain. I know that it gets better with time. I'll establish a routine and things will fall into place.
Everyone I've talked to told me to take my time and not rush into anything. Regroup, detox. Find myself because after working for so long, you lose "you". I feel conflicted about it because I am so used to taking action. That was my job, when I had a job. Fixing things. Finding solutions. Taking control. Taking corrective actions. I feel like this is totally beyond my control. And for someone who has a desire to control, this is very difficult. I keep praying for guidance. For help to find my way through this "out of control" (in my mind's eye) time.
I have stitched a bit on Bee Man and the exchanges that are so late now. Sorry kids, they will come. It's just gonna take a bit of time. I'm trying to stick to some sort of routine, walking, horses, cleaning, stitching. My tangerine room is almost done. I have to make curtains which I think will begin to happen on Friday. I am sorting through things and putting stuff away.
Anyway, I won't have pictures to post until next week. The DH is visiting his family in PA and he's got the camera. I'm hoping to have a picture heavy couple of posts for you soon. I thank you for allowing me to pour out my heart to you.
It's good to have all of you.
