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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Checking in after checking out for awhile

Sorry that I checked out for awhile. Work, home, life in general has been so demanding lately that I got that Calgon moment know, the one where you beg to be taken away! So, when I get that *gotta get away* feeling, I usually heed it. Otherwise, I end up getting depressed and then I am not good to anyone.
Actually, this time, I didn’t heed the early warning signs and I realized a bit too late that I should have regrouped because I got that *don’t care* anymore attitude. A sure sign of burnout.. Fortunately, I caught it before I got into that *Life Slump* mode, the one where you check out emotionally, physically and mentally. I’ve been there and I don’t like the scenery, so I avoid getting to that spot at all costs. Fortunately, I didn’t travel there because the road back is long and rocky.

Work was and continues to be grueling. I am not complaing, no, it’s good to be busy. We had a hugh Customer audit last week, one where we prepared for 6 weeks in advance. We did well. I spent an inordinate amount of time at work preparing engineers, line operators, management and all that work culminated into 12 hour days last week during the audit. Tired, you bet!

Next week, we are working an internal audit. Long days again but without that pressure of jobs on the line.

On the home front, we have reached an accord with Mr. Contractor. We went to court and Mr. Contractor has 60 days to right his wrong with us. Needless to say, to save his sorry a$$, he came up with a proposal that we going to go with because a) financially we can not start this job from scratch a second time and b) we need closure.

He has us by the short hairs and he knows it. If we declined his proposal, he would just go bankrupt and we would lose our 50K and be stuck with a house that’s in a state of dishevelment with NO money to fix it. I need to get my house in order and get this depressing sight off my back. I sigh each time I come into our driveway and view the mess that I call home. So today, I get to repurchase windows that I already paid for once but hey, what’s another 20K in the grand scheme of things? Only my peace of mind and my retirement.

Are we uncomfortable with this arrangement, well yes, yes we are uncomfortable but we really do not have a choice. My only consolation is that we have NY State Supreme Court teeth behind us. I do not trust this man nor do I believe what he tells us. We've caught him in about a half dozen lies already trying to keep his head above water. And me, I kick myself each time I think I think of how I protected him for almost a year and put a strain on my marriage, my sanity and my health.

Regarding my needle and thread, I have completed all my exchanges now and I am free to stitch for myself for a little while. I had grandious plans for the holidays but like most of my plans they look great in my mind’s eye but not so good in the execution phase. There’s not enough time to stitch gifts unless I stick to small ornie type gifts of which I may do one or 3.

I spent yesterday (I took a mental health day) stitching on Maria Short. Not a lot of progress for 5 hours of stitching. I am s-l-o-o-o-w. On Saturday, I worked on a Halloween scissor fob. Not hard stitching, just a lot of color changes. It’s the finishing that I fiddled with for at least 4 hours. I am so finishing challenged! Or I’ve set my expectations so high that I can’t possibly meet them. Of course, I didn’t get half the stitching I intended to get done with my 3 day weekend but it sure felt good stitching.

In between exchange stitching, I started working on Primitive Needle's, Hallow Game Board. Unfortunately, the piece is possessed. I can not count on that piece for anything and I must have ripped out the border and the stars at least 3 times. I am stitching it on Lakeside's Autumn Gold linen and it feels scratchy. When stitching on it, the floss feel like it’s catching on the fabric and the threads are abrading even though I am using a short length. Frustrated, yes, but I love the piece and I want it on the wall next Halloween. So I will persevere.

Oh, and guess what else!!! I picked up my beloved, John Foster, from the framer. Boy oh boy, John is one handsome sampler, framed in burled wood. He is very GQ and he knows it, strutting his gorgeous self. Once again, the framer was unimpressed by his bright house and garden motifs but what does it matter, it is me who he must impress and he has my heart. Love ya, John Foster!!!

Once again, thanks for hanging in there with me. I am abundantly blessed in so many ways and I recognize the challenges that I face are just speed bumps. They get me down but are put into perspective when I step back and look at all the great things in my life.

Thanks for visiting and I promise pictures of some goodies and stitching progress.


Litla Skvís said...

It is good to see an update from you. And even better to know that you are getting your HOME back. I can't believe that it actually took taking that man to court. Good luck with everything and try to rest and breathe every once in a while :)

samplerlover said...

Hi Joanie,

Good grief, the things that you have had to put up with. I'm glad that there is some action being taken with your house. Hopefully all the stress in your life will be over soon.

I find at certain times in my life just to sit and stitch for an hour or two and everything going the way it should is very calming. When it doesn't go as it should is another matter. Take care.

Wendy said...

I hope some progress gets made in your house, at least with the court at your back this time. Sending you good thoughts!

Von said...

It's good to hear from you again, Joanie! I'll be praying that this contractor actually gets your home finished as promised. Your template artwork had a different meaning for me as I read about all that's going on - how many arrows can one take? Keep stitching and managing your stress levels as best as you can. I'm definitely in your corner, friend!