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Thursday, July 27, 2006

Grey clouds...but a silver lining

Have you ever been in such a bad mood that you felt like nothing was worth it?

I've been in this funk for the last week and I was beginning to get worried. Usually, I can smile through just about anything but this week that wasn't going to happen. I dragged myself through the day into the evening with a grey, scratchy, flannel mood wrapped around me. I can't describe how I felt. Incredibly sad? No. Just incredibly tired and with the attitude that nothing mattered. And I could not sit still and concentrate at all. Little tasks were irritating and I couldn't be bothered with the larger things. I plodded through my days. Plodding is a great word...I felt I couldn't lift one foot in front of the other, so I scrapped them along, thumping through time. I don't know why this happened to me.

Last night, the mood lifted a little bit. I spent quality time with my horses. What therapy! They have a tendency to calm me. I did chores and it felt good to be taking care of things that directly affected the well being of my animals. I got nickers for thanks. I hand-grazed Maggie as the other 2 were in the round pen finishing their dinner. Maggie was exhuberant to eat green grass and not hay for 20 minutes until the bugs finally got the best of both of us. She snuffed and sniffed, snorted and chomped and took so much grass into her mouth that her cheeks were bulging. She just couldn't get enough. When she found a patch of clover with flowers, she just hoovered it away. And for the first time in a week, I actually smiled. Here was this 1200 pound animal in absolute delight over CLOVER.

So after I put her back into the barn with a hay snack for the evening, I went in the house. Instead of becoming overwhelmed with the amount of stuff I should do, I picked out a few non-taxing things, like doing up the dishes and throwing a load of laundy into the washer. As I did these things, I could feel this cloud lifting a bit more.

I believe I just needed to feel that what I did mattered. Horses will do that for you. Thank God for my equines.

So now, it's the morning an now I am at work. My mood isn't completely cleansed but I feel a lot better. And I think that it should continue.

Welcome to a new day!


The Queen's Stitch said...

Hi there - I hope those clouds lift completely before long. Something that always helps me - stitching therapy. Start a new project! Or, in the alternative, stash therapy. I dump out some baskets of stuff I haven't looked at in a while, spread it all out on the floor, make piles of what to start next, what I want to stitch for others, etc., and just drink it all in. Mmmmmm stash therapy. The other kind of stash therapy would be shopping of course, but that sometimes leaves me with a credit card hangover, so I'm trying to stay on the wagon.

Hope you're feeling better soon!


Red said...

Not only are horses a great equalizer but they are very good at humbling you and soothing your soul. Nickers are the best!!! Johnny gets all excited and nickery when he realizes I'm around..I think it's the carrots, apples and cookies...but hey... knowing he's happy to see me is so awesome. I think there is truth to the phrase "Idle hands are the Devils work". Good for you for finding a place to sooth your soul and get out of the funk while being productive.

Von said...

I understand your plodding feeling, often feeling that way following a time of intense activity. How wonderful that your horses were able to soothe your spirit and begin a return to your normal self. :D Sometimes just poking around my garden will do that for me, pulling a few weeds, deadheading the flowers, running a hose.

Cathy said...

I do think our pets do wonders for us. I'm glad your horses helped to lift your spirits on Thursday.

shortoldlady said...

Oh wow - I can remember those days. Used to have horses until the kids went to college and the "rural area" got taken over by housing developments. Please pass around some extra carrots from me! Horses are such wonderful animals!